To the queen

I feel sick. Not because of what I'm about to do, but because of what we did last night. A bizarre memory returns, myself and 2 Germans toasting our very own queen Liz with tequila, repeatedly. My head pounds with the beat of a thousand shot glasses being slammed onto the bar, upturned and void of any trace of alcohol as it now courses it's way through my blood to my brain. I feel strangely calm, I try to read but sleep is needed more. My names is called and I empty my pockets, fags, phone, coins, tickets and other souvenirs from last night. I slip into a sexy blue jumpsuit, just too short in the legs and arms. I step into the harnes and have it buckled around me. It's getting more real by the second, but still no panic, no fear, only wonder. I stand in the sunlight and watch as the previous load returns to earth, their chutes pink and green stand out against the baby blue sky. I meet lottie and she asks if I can take her for a ride today, workplace humour, a joke told to thousands more before me. We head to the plane. Small doesn't cover it, the tv screen on my flight over was bigger. Within seconds we are out on the runway and gaining speed. I feel unsafe to say the least, but I notice a smile beginning to creep across my lips. Lottie nudges forwards and straps on to me, places the oxygen mask over my face. Yes, that's right, oxygen mask. I thought these were only supposed to come out in an emergency. How high were we going??? We reach 13000ft and the door opens, the other two tandems slide out casually, the door slams shut and we begin to climb again. At 165000 ft we slide to the door and I even have to help open the bloody thing this time. New Zealand below, sky above. I dange my legs out the doorway, the mind is icy cold against my pale English skin.I still feel calm. We rock back and forth 3 times then drop...and every cell, atom, molecule in my body screams " you are going to die now", 5 seconds later we are dropping at 200km p/h, the landscape tearing towards us. I can't breathe, the air is forcing its way into my face so fast I can't breathe out. I'm gasping, lottie sticks her thumb up in front of my face and I'm praying for the breath to tell her to go to hell. Infront of us is the Tasman ocean, the white horses crashing across the seemingly endless beach, we begin to spinand Auckland city comes into view, the sky tower poking above it all. My mind has wandered enough and breathing, though still difficult, comes easier and more natural. My ears begin to quite literally scream at me as the pressure tries to equalise. All of a sudden it's over and lottie pulls the rip cord and whoomf, the deafening noise and pounding air like sandpaper both sease, replaced but the gentle flapping of the chute. Now I begin to laugh out loud at how completely and utterly mental the whole thing is. In 75 seconds I had just decended nearly 12000ft and I was now dangling above new Zealand underneath a silk handkerchief. I finally find the joy and look around me in absolute awe. We begin to swing round, lottie steering us to the landing site in the strong wind, every turn we pull 3gs and my balls get squashed in the harness. We get close and closer to the ground. 30ft, 20ft, 10ft, then a gust of wind takes us, we miss the grass and slam ass first onto the runway. E wind catches the chute and we dragg back a few metre S till the ground crew get the tag and realise the chute. Holy fuck, I'm alive. Once I'm changed back to my civi's I stand and have a smoke and look at the sky. It feels like a dream, I can't really imagine I've just done that. My brain just can't handle it and my sanity has gone to hide the broom cupboard. I'm glad I did it, but I think I'll stick to ground asked activities from now on, I much prefer the feel of powder beneath my feet than bugger all.