whats wrong with my beard??

I was asked for ID for the first time today in New Zealand. Having a good bush on the face is primary in avoiding getting your passport out. Despite my orangeness and the satanic parantage people assume go with it, my facial fuzz has done me more good than harm. It keeps me warm in the winter and keeps me looking rugged in the summer.
 In our glorious english summer i faced a point where i had to shave the whole damn thing off. After 3 festivals, cold rain and wind told its own story across my bedragled face. When reaching camp bestical i happened to glance in the wing mirror of a 4x4 and realised i had suddenly become homeless.
A beard can be a magnificent thing. Sir Ian McKellan, Sir Richard Branson, Rolf Harris have all defined their carriers through the use of facial hair. Not to mention the infamous Chuck Norris, who I hear has not a chin beneath his beard, but yet another fist.
As I was perusing the contract and staff handbook handed to me by 3 time kiwi golf champion Grant Hattaway this afternoon I was struck by the clause stating that 'all employees must been clean shaven'. Having come face to face with my down trodden self in Lulworth Cove I immediately took razor to face and came out a clean and respectable young man. To which my collegues responded with cries of 'what the fuck have you done" and 'get some prit-stick, put it back'. Hairless, I resemble a 14 year old Paul Bettany, which would be excellent news if I was 14 years but any thing under the age of 18 not only seems a little weird but will alsmot certainly get me put in jail.
I don't think i will ever go back to 'baby' smooth shaven again. I keep trim and tidy and the opposite sex seem to enjoy it. If i turn up to my first official day of work on Tuesday and I'm asked to shave I shall tell the restaraunt manager to shave it herself, if she can..