whats wrong with my beard??

I was asked for ID for the first time today in New Zealand. Having a good bush on the face is primary in avoiding getting your passport out. Despite my orangeness and the satanic parantage people assume go with it, my facial fuzz has done me more good than harm. It keeps me warm in the winter and keeps me looking rugged in the summer.
 In our glorious english summer i faced a point where i had to shave the whole damn thing off. After 3 festivals, cold rain and wind told its own story across my bedragled face. When reaching camp bestical i happened to glance in the wing mirror of a 4x4 and realised i had suddenly become homeless.
A beard can be a magnificent thing. Sir Ian McKellan, Sir Richard Branson, Rolf Harris have all defined their carriers through the use of facial hair. Not to mention the infamous Chuck Norris, who I hear has not a chin beneath his beard, but yet another fist.
As I was perusing the contract and staff handbook handed to me by 3 time kiwi golf champion Grant Hattaway this afternoon I was struck by the clause stating that 'all employees must been clean shaven'. Having come face to face with my down trodden self in Lulworth Cove I immediately took razor to face and came out a clean and respectable young man. To which my collegues responded with cries of 'what the fuck have you done" and 'get some prit-stick, put it back'. Hairless, I resemble a 14 year old Paul Bettany, which would be excellent news if I was 14 years but any thing under the age of 18 not only seems a little weird but will alsmot certainly get me put in jail.
I don't think i will ever go back to 'baby' smooth shaven again. I keep trim and tidy and the opposite sex seem to enjoy it. If i turn up to my first official day of work on Tuesday and I'm asked to shave I shall tell the restaraunt manager to shave it herself, if she can..

Holy shit it's snowing

Lets keep this short and sweet-

Wellignton - Spent the night at another base, dressed up as women tog et free booze. Got the ferry over to picton in the morning

Hanmer Springs- Drove down the east coast, asked for directions and went the other way. Ended up a mountain holiday resort, chilled in some hot springs. casually climbed a 1500m mountain in 24 degrees. stupid. nice waterfall though.

Christchurch - Arrived, got lost, left.

Arthurs Pass - Drove to west coast in the early evening via moonlight through teh mountains. stopped in hick town. met some locals. met some giant parrots. nice place. fucking cold

Franz Josef Glacier - WEt, cold, cloudy, big block of ice.

Fox Glacier - Sacked it off, too much rain

Queenstown - 5 hours and 500k later we arrive, go boarding, get sunburn, then drink our selves silly for two days with Stef from Auckland. I like this place. weathers a bit mental. sunbrun to trenchfoot, then its snowing in town this morning. Job sorted in posh bar, really want second interview for less posh fun bar. watch this space.